Taboo Topics

Can avoiding taboo topics in communication have a critical impact on clients, partners, peer, family, and friends? How do candid conversations empower a trusted advocate?

What is the difference between a trusted advisor and a trusted advocate?

A trusted advisor supplies expert experience, education, and knowledge in exchange for a fee, compensation, or a sale. The advisor provides useful insight, and may help architect an appropriate solution for your individual needs, or to address your problems.

A trusted advocate invests expert experience, education, and knowledge in the interest of enabling you to attain your goals. The advocate applies insight, and is an active participant in building the appropriate solutions or tools to achieve your aspirations.

A trusted advisor can be a trusted advocate. The terms are not mutually exclusive. The question is, are you acting with authenticity and integrity for the obligations of your clients and partners, or are you just acting because your real obligations are for yourself?

A trusted advocate may be a vendor, contractor, business partner, colleague, or peer. The recommendations of a trusted advisor may result in a sale. The actions of a trusted advocate result in a relationship. The development of a network of relationships may result in sales, and will surely result in better opportunities. The relationships of a trusted advocate create opportunities for meaningful and unbridled communications, because the obligations between the client or advisor are more important than the risk of a reaction to the advice.

What are the benefits of open and unbridled communications?

If there is opportunity to conduct business, it is much more efficient to define the scope, limitations, expectations, risks, and rewards of the business commitments and transactions in completely candid and honest dialogue. This not only expedites the process, it also clearly identifies and addresses obstacles that may otherwise delay or stall negotiations. Candid communications enables all sides to share concerns, uncovering and addressing reservations that could otherwise explode at a later stage of the process. If the obstacles preclude any opportunity for immediate business, then it is certainly better to identify that fact early in the relationship, and to nurture the obligations until such time that the obstacles can be mutually resolved. The whole process is simplified when hidden agendas are removed, goals are revealed, and mutual responsibilities are aligned.

Do you have the confidence to participate in unbridled communications? A new survey by MFS Investment Management reveals that a vast majority of clients and advisors have a hard time talking about even basic issues. In speaking with a financial planner, 98% of clients and advisors responding to the survey revealed that they avoided topics like health problems and life expectancy. As a result, developing financial plans for lifelong security may be based on erroneous assumptions.

According to the survey by MFS Investment Management, the following percentage of financial advisors and clients avoided these taboo topics:

* 55% avoided discussing Life Expectancy

* 53% avoided discussing Health Care Issues

* 34% avoided discussing How Long Savings Will Last

* 34% avoided discussing Legacy Planning

As a client, what is the personal risk that is introduced when such critical taboo topics are politely avoided because the topic may be slightly uncomfortable at first? As an advocate for the client, how much more meaningful is the relationship when the personal financial advisor demonstrates the depth of obligation by addressing the most critical topics that could impact financial stability of the client in the years to come?

Review your own situation and your personal agenda. Are you comfortable in your conversations about the weather, and patiently avoiding the risk of a real conversation? Or, do you have the confidence to partake in a candid and unbridled communication about the topics that are most relevant to your clients, partners, peers, family members, and friends?

Candid communication does not mean confrontational or controversial contact. It does, however, occasionally introduce a temporarily uncomfortable situation when the parties involved in the dialogue are suddenly exposed with honesty and openness. Get to the heart of your clients and partners by getting to the heart of the conversation, and become a trusted advocate.

______________________________________________________

Words of Wisdom

"Let us overthrow the totems, break the taboos. Or better, let us consider them cancelled. Coldly, let us be intelligent."- Pierre Trudeau

"If indeed you must be candid, be candid beautifully."- Kahlil Gibran

"It is the advisor who suffers most from bad advice."- John Mehrmann

______________________________________________________"John earned Service Net's business by patiently educating Service Net about the logistics as an industry consultant, not as a representative of his company or interests. He's an asset as an industry expert, regardless of the company he represents. He's a "go to" person which I interpret as a "trusted advocate", not a sales person."
Dan Tafel
General Manager, National Sales
Service Net

The Trusted Advocate: Accelerate Success with Authenticity and Integrity is available now online in hardcover and paperback from www.Amazon.com (Hardcover), www.Amazon.com (Paperback), www.BarnessndNoble,com, www.Borders.com, www.Target.com, www.Buy.com, ,www.iUniverse.com, and many other fine booksellers.

About the Author:
John Mehrmann is author of The Trusted Advocate: Accelerate Success with Authenticity and Integrity, the fundamental guide to achieve extraordinary sales and sustain loyal customers. John Mehrmann is a freelance writer and President of Executive Blueprints Inc., an organization devoted to improving business practices and developing human capital. www.ExecutiveBlueprints.com provides resource materials for trainers, sample Case Studies, and educational articles. http://www.InstituteforAdvancedLeadership.com provides self-paced tutorials for personal development and tools for trainers. Presentation materials, reference guides and exercises are available for continuous development.